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Alright, I wonder if anyone visits this blog. Since I am left with 10 minutes before I go chiong my studies. As always, I like it last minute. I guess we all do grow up and being in a relationship makes me more mature too. I guess we all should just take things easy and aim for stuff which are larger than life. God damn, I'm 20 already and fucking 10 years down the road I will be 30 and god knows I'll be bringing two kids with me. I'll be doing things I wished to do long time ago, I don't ask for myself to make something big out of it but at least, when I'll die without regrets aye. Okaes, time to shit. So long
Alright, I'm back for a little bit :) I'm gonna do my report later at 1030 and hope I can finish half of it. It has been very very very long since I last posted. It's unless I feel negative emotions or plain being emo then I'll come back here. There are so many things happening everyday and everyday is so packed, so little time for a little bit of warmth by the couch and enjoying a great evening. I really hope I can be peaceful and not lead such a life. Perhaps it's really my mindset because I worry so much that I keep having insomnia every night and I don't know how to let things go.
当希望变成奢望，它最终将成为绝望。
Alrights, let me tell you this. This is the best I can tolerate with whatever shit. I am not going to bow down anymore just because who you think you are. It wasn't a good past month and I totally regretted coming here except the shopping. I wished I quit this because of Suntec because things are going way out of hand. My body has its limit and the fuck doctor have to ask me to take the drips and so many jabs. Fuck the canteen food of all times it had to be me. Seriously. =.= I have no idea what the fuck is wrong and I think it's time to stand up for myself. Just because of these I warp myself, god fuck sake, I shall protect myself instead of poor liang being so agitated on the other side. There is no other way I am going to the hospital for the third time. Damn it, I really feel the heat in my stomach coming up. The fuck I cannot sleep the whole night because of shitting watery shit. The next day I have to face the same shitty thing. =.= This is totally crazy. My pretty cute babe would be so worried for me because I was not there for her the whole night. I wished I could call and comfort her. I apologize alrights, because I really have no idea how long this shit is going to last.
Alrights, as the title suggests. I am at the brink of killing myself because I am getting stressed out by stuff again. So many stuff due on that fucking 2 weeks and I fuckingly have no idea how I am going to cope because I have no fucking time to rest to even study well. I fuckingly want to push my gpa up. In total, it's fucked up.
You know, what can I say now? I'm just tired and fatigue. I know, school only started like one week plus but I am already out of control. I just want to have a holiday. A true holiday when I can rest my heart and yea, perhaps I feel what Nette feels and that's why I am tired.
Let's put everything aside, just think about myself. Let me reflect. I believe a load of things have changed, it was never the same. Don't you think so? I just wonder why, and perhaps I am holding on too tight to the past? I wonder about those who treated me well, who gave me the sense of security I thought I needed, who helped me when I needed them the most and I simply left them behind in the lurch of history. Really. I wonder if I am the kind of person who leaves once I make full use of a person and move on to the next. Is it twist of fate? Well, it was stuff that was like eons ago, even if I wanna do something, I will need time machine. =.=