Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Devil beside you
Well, well just watched Devil Beside You and it just made me realised something. And that is I'
m attracted to guys like Meng. Just like I did when I first met him. But the ending is just a tad different. Aye, I also cannot be like Yue anymore like I did, I mean not that kind but just as naive. Somehow the motive was different as well but nevermind, it's all over now.
But I will still try to accept the change now. I'm starting to acknowledge that everything that happened to me within these two years had left a deep impact on me. Everything that happened. Perhaps it meant a good change as well but not for now. Thanks to nette for pointing that out to me now. I guess it is those who stay with you all along that they will notice every single change.
Back to the topic of relationships. I seriously am not looking for any commitment. This may sound like a bitch but whatever. Maybe I can say I have lost total trust in love. All the guys I met are seriously fuck shits. Especially online ones, non are good. Perphaps this is too collective to say all the guys but really, maybe I'm just not good with guys. Those good ones are just not right. Zzz, how the hell I'm going to meet the right one. I don't want to end up marrying just for the sake of marrying. I really wanna find someone special and really fits the bill. I wanna try the feeling of falling in love again. I just can't find it or I should allow time to let fate fall into place.
I really have no idea about life now. I don't know where to head. I don't wanna grow up and go into the adult working world. It is so hideous. I wanna find the right work to go into and I shall work with passion if not life would be too boring. That dream, I really have no idea when it will come but again, I will just leave it too fate. Life's just a tad too difficult, isn't it.
Fate aye, I shall wait then.
10:15 AM
oanna