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It's liked so fucked up. I'm still the same from all these years. So weak that I didn't even realise how i felt these two years. I'm just swaying between sudden thoughts. I liked someone I wouldn't say and I just hid it beneath for so long. For I hid it too long that I didn't realise it till I looked at our past conversations. -.- Fuck I'm such a idiot. Fuck the angel and devil. Just stop messing me up. Now the devil 60%, angel 30% and myself 10%. I know this is crap. But you won't know if you don't understand me. I'm just so messed up. Forget it. If I didn't grasp the things that I ought to do when the time was right, what rights do I have to take it now? Just take it I'm the bitch but whatever. I won't ask for anything. I just ask for us to be normal, back to the old times. I swayed between so much thoughts that I think I'm gonna go berserk. For once, I wanted to be honest with my feelings but I could not. HAHA. How hilarious. For once I'm such a bitch and now I'm like a pathetic puppy weeping here. Fuck it. Damn how stupid can I get. RAWR. I really need to go and become a nun for 3 months to clear up my thoughts. -.- Look, I need that crying again. I need to cry like there's tomorrow again. I cannot find anyway to vent my frustrations again, with much power I think. Cuz I think dancing and singing is jux not enough. I really need something to make me cry but I cannot find. It's like I just wanna cry out loud but I can't. I can even suppress how I cry and I'm amazed. Bwah. Whatever. idlu