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rar. lyk wth. things r jux cumin down on me one after one. they dun seem to stop. first school, send family and third, something i yearn yet cant touch. elearning week is so crap cuz i'm so fucked up wif projects n my own pace is broken due to extra stuff. now i study lyk e slacker in sec sch. dam i wan my GPA 3.5 sia. dun be liddat to mi. n i seriously hate projects. i tink i would rather go jc now. but den its fate again. so i shan't crap on smth i cant change much.
yest went to see sin seh but i guess he saw smth else den my injuries. lols. yaa. he saw my life. probably everything jux falls into place wen he said it. i reali reali wonder if i can make things right dis life, cuz things r seriously goin wrong as time goes by. from my childhood til now, reality jux bcame harsher and harsher on me. haha. mayb i'm jux emo but i hav reason to die but i wont until i live life to e end. i guess it's all these setbacks and those precious ppl dat u meet aft these setbacks make you wanna live on. i reali wonder abt it. i hope we can end up in the right place cuz he make my heart aches loads. or mayb it's jux i'm hallucinating. =.= lols. but nonetheless, i cant do anything now but to wait for the answer to come. or mayb no asnwer would cum, mayb i would jux lose my bet. or mayb i would win my bet on another hand. rar, life as it seems.
okok, i noe it's some wat lame but i jux nid a place to vent it all out. i'm a problematic gal i noe. cuz e probs r not for me but for ppl ard mi. i jux worry for dem. u believe? lols. haha. i guess it jux wasnt e right time for me to step in and help, cuz i wont and can never help. no matter how much i cry for help, no one wil ans n i noe. it's jux futile to cry and nothing wil change. one thing wil change though, my eyes wil change. i'm reali scared if i go blind. seriously. i'm afraid i cant see myself in bridal dress. lols. pray hard i can see lahx. i mean dis is stupid but i cant help but wonder. aft dat incident, i'm dam worried wen i cry too much. omfg. its so scary lahx. lols. but nvm at least i can see for now. i stil wanna keep my eyes for isle of skye. =) and e fkin chin blog cant use. how i wish i can blog dere. zzz.
i cannot stop crying todae. it just all came out. after talking to mum. i felt lyk a burden to her. i cannot help her. not i didnt wan to but i just cant help. i certainly can survive when she's gone, but i'm so lonely. i have been alone all this while, and there's a limit to how much loneliness i can take. i dont know why, i'm always the root of trouble. y am i the one? can someone lend me your shoulders. i just wanna cry til the morning but i cant. my eyes would be too sore. i couldnt do anything to help anyone but i'm trouble to everyone. nobody's home. that's the song. i always felt like it. sometimes, i just wanna giv up but i cant. dere r promises i have to keep. but i'm so tired of all these shit. y is my life so screwed wen i tried my best to live it right? dis is so unfair. should i always b e one thinkin for others and sufferin alone in the corner? i'm so sick of it. pls, pls, pls, someone stand by dere for me. i have no one to rely on. nette is e bestie gal i ever met. my bestie forever, yea and but dere's one thing, her shoulder not big enuff. aiya, i dunno how to explain. but jux not. i noe in dis life, sum stuff i hav to jux let it go by. no matter how hard i try, it wont cum to me and it wont b right. how? tell me wat can i do? tell me how to do it. i'm so emo todae, all e feelings i kept so well all gone at once. i noe dis is dumb, i noe i appear so happy ard but dere r times wen i cant keep up dat cheerful self. dere r times i hav to take down dat mask. and let e tears run b4 i put dat mask again. pls if anyone. jux make my life better. even i dont know how to, how would others noe? wat a joke. dam wat a joke.