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I am not trying to proclaim as any saint. I know my limits and yea, perhaps I am the bitch everyone else says I am. Well, I am, as I have always said. I don't wish to ask for sympathy or anything else because it is not fair to anyone else. Just imagine with me for a while; with outrageous family problems, family financial crisis, dance; which I have to work double hard to perform and maintain active in these two sides. One is my past and current dance course, if I did forsake any of each, I would regret for not respecting my passion. The one more him I have to give extra care to; which I wished I could but I never did. And the studies that I dread to have so many stuff to do and extra lessons. Plus that stupid knee that keeps coming back. I am one hell of a greedy bitch. I thought I could manage, but I am just another human. I have emotions, have expectations, have hopes, have mistakes, have bad habits and everything else a human could ask for. I just wondered, why no matter how hard I worked, it was not enough. I couldn't do anything to help mum when I wished I could, I couldn't be there for bestie when she needed me most, I couldn't be the girl for him, I couldn't dance with my emotions, I couldn't meet the expectations anyone else had for me. I have no pride because I have nothing to be proud of. I am a pretender, a fake and full of masks. I have a bad personality. Anything you deem me as. Well, whatever. All these years, I have seen everyone else leave, even my father could. Perhaps that part altered my life a lot and I really have nothing to say. I am not trying to explain or defend myself. I am everything whoever deem me as and I have no rights over it. I judge my own life. I learn, change and pick myself up. I just hope every bad things end here.