Saturday, June 20, 2009
Just pondering.
Let's put everything aside, just think about myself. Let me reflect. I believe a load of things have changed, it was never the same. Don't you think so? I just wonder why, and perhaps I am holding on too tight to the past? I wonder about those who treated me well, who gave me the sense of security I thought I needed, who helped me when I needed them the most and I simply left them behind in the lurch of history. Really. I wonder if I am the kind of person who leaves once I make full use of a person and move on to the next. Is it twist of fate? Well, it was stuff that was like eons ago, even if I wanna do something, I will need time machine. =.=
I haven't been reflecting like I use to, not the emo self anymore and yet, still the thinker because I am still thinking and pondering about life now. I just don't procrastinate like a bitch using the high class way anymore. Fyi, if you wish to know more, or you are a loyal follower of my blog, do scroll down and take a look, feel free to see my Chinese blog too, heh it's free! Lame. =.=
Ya, since I came into where I am today, or I should say, since I stepped out of the comfort zone of NHDS, I learned a lot. I now know how privileged we were to clinch that GWH, to dance at PA and to express ourselves freely. It's a different world out there, a load different. Thanks so much lao shi and dancemates! <3 It was so much memories, though we weren't the closest, bestest, whatever it may be but the memories will always be there. =)
Sad to say, now I understand why adults don't like to be adults and vice versa. It's not complicated. Responsibilities come with age. The more you can do, there more you need to bear. It's a harsh fact you can never run. I would if I could, but the fucking fact is, I love to run but I can't run nowhere. Like the hamster turning round and round; cute but you can't find a way out. >,<" I hate life, just as much I hate it, I can't bear to lose it. Funny, ain't it? Haha, am I really myself or am I happier then. I don't know. There's so much of myself that I think I will go bonkers some day. Yes, some day.
Am I very difficult to satisfy? I think only a duplicate of myself can suffice. Haha, whatever. Sometimes I just need to get out of my puny brain, I am just thinking too much. I am a big big girl in a big big world. Heh, that song just comes to my mind aye. I don't know, I don't seem to get satisfied. Is it because I didn't manage to find solace, or I wasn't able to find home all along? I clarify I am not swaying, just plain pondering. =X I am tired, physically. On a mental note, I am not tired, just fatigue. I want to sleep like 20 hours a day, 1 hour bathe and 2 hour eat, the last one entertaining myself with TV.
Dope shit eh this kinda life. ^^V
8:17 AM
oanna